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Publishers Weekly Starred Review of Forgiveness Tour
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Publishers Weekly Starred Review "When Manhattan journalist and writing professor Shapiro experienced betrayals from a trusted psychotherapist as well as a close female friend, she demanded answers. Devoid of atonement or any type of explanation for their behavior, both were nonchalant and arrogant, which understandably infuriated and flummoxed the author. Though Shapiro was traumatized, she was also inspired to question how others managed unresolved pain. Sharing revealing episodes of personal soul-searching, the author probes the lucrative “Forgiveness Industry,” fronted by gurus touting charities, books, and documentaries as well as agencies who grant professional amnesty to affronted clients on another’s behalf. Shapiro, who teaches at the New School, NYU, and Columbia, journalistically explores themes of forgiveness through a series of stories from a variety of sources, including family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and students—e.g., a 40-something Army wife and a trans man who faced ugly post-transition prejudice. All of these anecdotes demonstrate how certain personalities can easily pardon someone’s wrongdoing while others, as in her situation, experience spitefulness and difficulty moving on with their lives. Shapiro’s analysis is multifaceted, encompassing radically divergent opinions: religious leaders who consider clemency an emotional balm and pious obligation or a “wildly provocative Jungian astrologer” who touts grudge-holding as a protective barrier against perpetual victimhood. The author brings the same blend of wry humor, sharp wit, and knowledgeable authority that she demonstrated in some of her previous memoirs (Unhooked, Lighting Up, Five Men Who Broke My Heart), offering an intimate exploration of grudges, expectations, and remorse. Ultimately, she confesses to a series of personal atonements of her own and provides an appendix of practical solutions, leaving the decision up to readers whether personal apologies are required for true healing or whether unspoken atonement could suffice. Enlightening and universally relevant, the book shows us how to forgive even when it might be impossible to forget.” Kirkus Reviews "Can we forgive without getting an apology from the offender? In this latest from journalist, teacher, and writer Shapiro (The Byline Bible), she recounts being deeply hurt by a mentor, who didn’t apologize, and how that affected her life and left her longing for a resolution. In her quest to recover from her feelings of betrayal and devastation, over the next few years, Shapiro asked her friends, her rabbi, and various other religious leaders whom they deserved an apology from and why. She recounts the stories of those who found a way to forgive even in the most horrifying circumstances, including war atrocities, abuse, and abandonment, each with more at stake than Shapiro. She asks them two questions: “What would you want your offender to say to you?” and “What would it take to make it right?” What flows from these interviews is a book full of fascinating stories of brutal honesty and human resilience. VERDICT: Readers will find hope and examples of paths toward forgiveness here. Casting a wide net, Shapiro’s book will appeal to those who love human interest stories, people seeking to forgive in their own lives, and those wondering about the deeper meaning of forgiveness in many different traditions." Library Journal “One of the most important lessons one learns reading Susan Shapiro’s thoughtful exploration of forgiveness is that hurt and reconciliation are central themes in almost all of our lives….We re all intertwined in a web of complex connections, messy relationships, easy misunderstandings, and raw sensitivities that make forgiveness so difficult yet also so beautiful when it can happen... A thoughtful, spiritual new voice.” Rabbi Marc Katz, Jewish Book Council “Susan Shapiro’s bold and captivating new memoir is a foray into the unknown…Throughout the book, Shapiro is grappling with her own search for forgiveness and closure. Somehow she manages to be both introspective and thoughtful while maintaining a readability that makes this book easy to devour in a single sitting. I read it for the first time in a single day, unable to put it down. Part of what makes The Forgiveness tour so enthralling is the vastness of the interviews that Shapiro conducts…It’s a book for anyone who has ever felt hurt, betrayed, or lost. In other words, it’s a book for all of us. This memoir is entrancing because of the content, but also due to Shapiro’s candidness…By being blatant about her struggles she is making the strife of her readers acceptable, even encouraged." Mikhal Weiner, The Jewfolk Review “Powerful…a deeply moving and ultimately profound window into the enigmatic landscape of hurting and healing the human heart.” The Rumpus |
Molly Howes, author of “A Good Apology” “Intriguing, insightful, all-too-relatable… The Forgiveness Tour offers a deeply personal, painful experience that inspired a fascinating exploration on forgiving.” Los Angeles Review of Books “In a society that’s uncomfortable with too much intimacy, and that encourages people (especially women) to keep their innermost struggles and opinions under wraps, Shapiro’s writing is a breath of fresh air. After the success of her two prior memoirs and acclaimed writing guide…this brave, riveting, spiritual new memoir explores, how, and whether, to strive for forgiveness and closure.” Lilith magazine “The Forgiveness Tour explores a vital area of human relationships and looks deeply and sympathetically into the troubled lives of people who, despite suffering traumatic experiences at the hands of others, have managed to survive and, in many cases, to forgive. Susan Shapiro has produced a remarkable volume that will bring insight and comfort to many.” Jerusalem Post "It's perfect timing for a deep, perceptive look at forgiveness. Bestselling author Susan Shapiro’s wise and inspiring new book, The Forgiveness Tour: How to Find the Perfect Apology explores the nature of forgiving and answers the question: Can you forgive someone without an apology? Should you?” Forbes “Unique, sad, funny and profound, “The Forgiveness Tour” paints a poignant portrait of the power of apology. Susan Shapiro’s unique new memoir is her best work to date.” The Village Sun “Candid and captivating” Brooklyn Rail “A dazzling and deeply moving memoir about forgiveness, featuring dueling rabbis, Jewish guilt, and the wisdom of inspirational men and women from different religions and cultures.” Judy Batalion, author of The Light of Days “Susan Shapiro mixes memoir, religion, psychology and journalism to tell amazing stories of forgiveness. The tales, ranging from uplifting to unsettling, are always riveting.” A.J. Jacobs, bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically “As a popular chronicler of bad habits and poor life decisions, Shapiro has found her best topic yet: how to confront the pain in your life caused by someone you believe owes you an apology. The Forgiveness Tour’s wide-ranging tales of true heartache and gripping confrontation show readers how to find what they need to finally heal from what has been hurting them. Smart, witty and inspirational.” Tom Reiss, Pulitzer Prize author of The Black Count “Shapiro demonstrates an uncanny knack for articulating and resolving the unspoken regret of so many people. An engrossing and essential work you’ll be better for reading.” Laurence Bergreen, bestselling author of Casanova “Whether you’re wrestling with love gone bad, the rupture of a friendship, a conflict at work or betrayal on a global scale, you’ll find wisdom and solace in Susan Shapiro’s entertaining and insightful account of her own search for forgiveness.” Julie Metz, bestselling author of Perfection “The Forgiveness Tour takes us on journeys to right unforgivable wrongs. Shapiro illuminates how we can heal from those who harmed us most. Powerful, intimate and profound.” Gabrielle Selz, author of Unstill Life “A timely and captivating memoir about grudges, fallibility, and the loneliest phrase in the English language: I’m sorry.” David Goodwillie, author of King’s County “In her signature quick-witted, compulsively readable voice, Susan Shapiro explores forgiveness with honesty, humor and heart.” Erin Khar, author of Strung Out “Fascinating and original!” Susan Cheever, bestselling author of Drinking in America “I read everything Susan Shapiro writes. The Forgiveness Tour is electric, sad, funny and beautiful.” Cat Marnell, bestselling author of How To Murder Your Life “Shapiro holds my eye and ear with urgency, compelling dialogue, and fresh insights into human behavior. I found The Forgiveness Tour hard to put down.” Grace Schulman, author of Strange Paradise |